12 Feb

Peace principles

1. Don’t assume people know you have been hurt, offended or insulted. Family, friends and associates are at the top of the list. There is a good chance the source of the conflict is either a misunderstanding, a miscommunication or misbehavior. Whatever it is, don’t “miss” the opportunity to make things right. People are often oblivious to how their actions have affected you. If you can’t overlook the offense, kindly make the offender aware of your perspective. They may become defensive at first but the more you talk it through and make them aware of how it made you feel, the more likely they are to want to make amends. Not always, but most often.

2. Some people don’t care but most people really don’t desire conflict. Peace is preferred by the majority. So much as it depends on you, be a peacemaker. Take the initiative towards peace. Your willingness to seek peace will pay big dividends towards unity and harmony.

3. It’s not a matter of if, but when. Someone will ruffle your feathers. Choose to overlook and forgive or choose to seek resolution and forgive regardless of the outcome. Failing to forgive holds you hostage and denies you freedom. Otherwise, the other person controls you and holds you captive.

4. You may not be able to be at peace with others but you can be at peace with yourself knowing you have made every effort to be at peace. Don’t pretend you’ve tried your best. You know in your heart of hearts if you are holding out. But once you have given it your best, only you will know, then move ahead never closing the door for peace to return.

5. Peace today doesn’t guarantee peace tomorrow. Peace takes effort. No one is perfect. Peace is fragile. Maintaining the peace will likely require a bit of compromise but it will be worth it. It may require a piece of you in order to gain peace. It doesn’t have to be your way in order to be peaceful. To keep the peace you will likely have to accept the fact that you can’t change people but you can change you and your perspective.

6. Separation is a last resort. Sometimes you simply have to walk away from unteachable repeat offenders in order to find peace. Be careful not to walk away or to give up too soon. Even the best relationships aren’t always peaceful.

7. The bottomline? Peace is a state of mind. You can experience it no matter the circumstances because peace is found from within not from without.

Remember, when it comes to peace, you can make it and you can break it but you can’t fake it.